dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
