I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
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