we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I love having hate sex.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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