can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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