I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
3 2 1 whiskey
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
