you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
