Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Drake has all the answers
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize