Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize