guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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