In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
