He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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