so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
