I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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