So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
