in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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