Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
so let's talk penis.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
