What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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