I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
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