Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
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