So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
