so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
