If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
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So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
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You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
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