Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
This house was built for laser tag.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
