she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize