ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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