is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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