You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
