I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS