Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.