So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Randomize
