halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
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Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
The Most Iconic Met Gala Looks The Kardashian’s Have Rocked
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions