well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.