im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
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They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
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I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!