Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT