Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium