And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
So many bounce houses so little time
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
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My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
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Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.