And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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