I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
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