hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
