It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
