idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
