i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Randomize
