i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
