Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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