They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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