Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
