It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
