remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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