I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
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