My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
