what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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