Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
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