One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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