her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
