he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
