why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
