i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
