Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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