He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
