So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
