I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
