Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Maybe he injected his testicle?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
