Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
