You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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