So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
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I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
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As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Randomize