Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Randomize
