when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
