was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
