I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
