I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
